ADAM & EVE IN SOUTH AFRICAN ENGLISH

Adam and Eve are trapping around the Garden of Eden kaalgat.
Eve checks this lekker apple and she skiems nooit hey, I'm gonna graze
it.
Just then a moerse voice from above charfes her "Leave the apple, or I
will send an unimaginable plague upon the earth!"  She kaks herself half
stukkend and losses the apple.
A bit later Adam is trapping along when he gooi's a sharp right and
finds this apple,  "Bliksem" he skiems "A'hm gonna chow this thing"
Just then a moerse voice from above chirps him "Leave the apple, or I
will send an unimaginable plague upon the earth!"
"Ag nooit hey" he reckons "I'm stukkend hungry" and he grazes it.
That night he and Eve are in bed when he hears a knock at the door.
He pluks open the front door to hear " Eh, sorry baaas, Em looking fo'
de job......"

From Roual

Translation for those of you who do NOT understand S.A. English(!!!)
trapping = walking
kaalgat = nude
checks = sees
lekker = tasty [also: nice/good looking/etc.]
schemes = thinks
ag (oh) nooit (never) hey = [exclamation] - something like 'Cool man' or
'yeah man']
graze/s = eat/s
half (halve) stukkend (broken) = [in this sentence: she get's a hell of
a fright]
gooi's (throws) = turns [in this case - a sharp right turn]
bliksem (lightning) = [exclamation] - similar to saying 'oh sh*t'
a'hm = I am
chow = eat [from Italian]
stukkend hungry = [in this form] starved to death
pluks = pulls [also: picks]
Em = I am

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