These are supposedly actual signs. Whether or not they are real,  they sure are funny!

ACTUAL SIGNS

In the front yard of a funeral home

"Drive carefully, we'll wait."
 

On an electrician's truck

"Let us remove your shorts."
 

Outside a radiator repair shop

"Best place in town to take a leak."
 

In a nonsmoking area

"If we see you smoking, we will

 assume you  are on fire and take

 appropriate action."
 

On a maternity room door

"Push, Push, Push."
 

On a front door

"Everyone on the premises is a

 vegetarian except the dog."

At an optometrist's office

"If you don't see what you're

 looking for,

you've come to the right place."
 

On a taxidermist's window

"We really know our stuff."
 

On a butcher's window

"Let me meat your needs."
 

On a fence

"Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."

At a car dealership

"The best way to get back on your

 feet - miss a car payment."
 

Outside a muffler shop

"No appointment necessary. We'll

 hear you coming."
 

In a dry cleaner's emporium

"Drop your pants here."
 

On a desk in a reception room

"We shoot every 3rd salesman, and

 the 2nd one just left."
 

In a veterinarian's waiting room

"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit!  Stay!"
 

In a Beauty Shop

"Dye now!"
 

In a restaurant window

"Don't stand there and be hungry,

 come in and get fed up."
 

Inside a bowling alley

"Please be quiet. We need to hear a

 pin drop."
 

In a cafeteria

"Shoes are required to eat in the

 cafeteria.

Socks can eat any place they

 want."
 

On the back of a truck

"Your skid stops here"
 

"Once you get people laughing, they're listening and you can tell them almost anything"
--HERB GARDNER

Liz (From the UK)

"Refugee From Freedom and Democracy"

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